by Alun Rees
Taffy is a Welshman,
Taffy is no thief.
Someone came to Taffy’s house,
And stole his leg of beef.
Taffy made no protest,
For he does not like a row.
So that someone called on Taffy once again,
And stole the bloody cow!
They have stole his coal and iron,
They steal his water too.
They try to steal his language
And flush that down the loo.
Taffy is a Welshman, Taffy is a fool,
Taffy voted No, No, No!
When they offered him Home Rule.
Six days a week, upon his knees
Taffy dug for coal,
On the seventh he is kneeling too,
Praying for his soul.
Now the mines are all closed down
And the chapels have had their day
Taffy still lives upon his knees,
He knows no other way.
Now some of Taffy’s brothers
Will start a row or so.
But you can bank on Taffy,
He does not want to know.
When they hanged the innocent Penderyn
Taff had nothing much to say,
When Saunders Lewis went to gaol,
Taff looked the other way.
Taffy is the Welshman
Who likes to be oppressed
He is proud to tug his forelock
To a Crawshay or a Guest.
They gave him tinsel royalty,
So he has a pint of beer
And sings God Bless the Price of Wales
And joins the crowds to cheer.
Now Taffy is a fighter
When he hears the bugle call
Name any battle since Agincourt,
Taffy’s been in them all.
He has fought in France and Germany
And many other lands
He has fought on sea and fought in the air,
And fought on desert sands.
He has fought for a foreign flag
In many a far flung part
For Taffy is a Welshman
With a Welshman’s fighting heart.
He has fought the wide-world over
He has given blood and bone
He has fought for every bloody cause
Except his bloody own.
Bravo! It has become ingrained in minds that Wales and the Welsh are a sub-species of England and their people and culture. One only has to listen to media presenters who mangling their own language make no attempt to pronounce “foreign” names anywhere near correctly. Come on respect the Red Dragon and blow the rest.
Wales for ever and ever
But this poem really hits home
When I was a little boy
and taffy taught at school.
The vicious bastard grabbed my hair
and twisted it and all.
I kneed the short arse in the nuts
and kicked him in the shin
The rotten little Welsh bastard
He went and dobbed me in.
The headmaster was a Welshman too
a nasty piece of work.
He used to pull boys’ trousers down
he thought it was a perk.
I crept into his office,
and I grabbed his nasty cane
I took it to the playground
and I shoved it down the drain.
Taff2 he made a hue and cry
about the missing cane.
Asked everyone about it
turned over every grain.
The bloody cane grew branches
and a tree grew out the grid
you’l never guess what they found
when they lifted up the lid
You have it
Yes, they found the cane
with branches all about
and because I laughed
Taffy2 he came and dug me out.
He caned me with another cane
a new one that he bought.
I really was very upset
twas vengeance that I sought.
and so I set fire to his car
it really was a shame
it was a Sunbeam Rapier
it never was again.
I organised a protest
amongst the other kids
we said we wouldn’t come to school
cuase of the things he did’s
People then began to talk
about things that went on
and turned out that he caned the girls
and someone said that’s wrong.
He went before a jury
and I cannot say I’m sad
the judge handed him 20 years
and said your really bad
So don’t tell me that, Welshmen
are really strong and tough
cause I’m married to a Welshgirl
and I’ve nearly had enough.